Art by Stella Engel
This world is full of contention and hostility. Social media and a hyper-connected digital community make this even more apparent. However, that does not mean one should shy away from conflict out of fear.
“Avoid conflict! Keep the peace! Don’t rock the boat!”
People often warn others to stay away from conflict with one of these phrases. Certainly, unnecessary conflict should be avoided — but sometimes, conflict is needed.
When people fear conflict, they stifle discussion and meaningful discourse. It’s natural to disagree with one another, and that disagreement causes tension. People need to be willing to face their ideas won’t be affirmed by everyone — and that is OK.
Once people eradicate their fear of conflict, they can ask themselves when conflict is appropriate.
Similar to when a country’s government decides to declare war, individuals too must have principles to determine when they should engage in conflict. There are time-tested truths acting as a foundation for these principles.
Augustine of Hippo, a fourth century Christian philosopher, developed principles for just war, according to the BBC. For Augustine, the purpose of conflict is ultimately to seek peace. Thus, when people face conflict in interactions with their peers, they too should desire peace. This mindset is critical to resolving conflict.
“We do not seek peace in order to be at war, but we go to war that we may have peace,” Augustine said in the Summa Theologica. “Be peaceful, therefore, in warring, so that you may vanquish those whom you war against, and bring them to the prosperity of peace.”
Instead of quarreling and exchanging harsh words with one another, every person can approach different perspectives with respect and humility. God created each individual uniquely, and everyone provides a valuable perspective to the world. While these differences are beautiful, they sometimes make it difficult to have understanding and empathy. Nevertheless, striving for understanding allows people to recognize and appreciate those who hold contrasting opinions, according to a podcast by the APA.
In Ephesians 4:14-15 (NIV) the Bible says, “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Through a shared quest for truth, people can find both their commonalities and differences. By seeking peace first, as mentioned in Psalm 34:14, you can avoid hateful, emotional outbursts and are free to speak truth in love.
There is no doubt people will often disagree on controversial topics. However, before responding to that hot topic, stop and consider if peace is your goal.
Anyone can see the ocean from Pepperdine’s campus. These waves are actually created through conflict. Waves form as a result of continuous friction between wind and the ocean, according to the National Ocean Service.
This conflict is not only natural, but creates desirable effects. You can run, surf and play in these waves. Delightful seashells and hidden treasures are swept to shore for you to admire. Scientific studies have also shown that the sound of ocean waves helps you relax, destress and calm our minds, according to phys.org.
Like a wave, conflict can feel daunting and overwhelming. You may feel like the current is pulling you out to the sea. Just like it is a challenge to find your balance on a surfboard, it can be a struggle to find your balance when addressing conflict — but it is possible.
Sometimes, conflict is necessary. Even when you try to flee from it, conflict is unavoidable. It can be scary to be the one to rock the boat, but you can do so with confidence when you are seeking peace. While it can be difficult to discern when and how to address conflict, you can, like Christ, desire the peace and welfare of those around you.
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Follow the Graphic on Twitter: @PeppGraphic
Email Madison Luc: madison.luc@pepperdine.edu
