Art by Ava Anderson
Transparency item: The Perspectives section of the Graphic is comprised of articles based on opinion. This is the opinion and perspective of the writer.
Asking people what type of music they like is a pretty standard “get to know someone” question. It seems to say a lot about a person, and can open up good further conversations.
On the other hand, a lot of people freeze when they’re asked this question. “I listen to a bit of everything” is a common answer, or picking one of many genres one listens to as a quick but not quite true response.
Questioning what type of music a person does not like is much more interesting for a variety of reasons. In an immediate sense, it’s less commonly asked. It rolls a commonly drilled inquiry over to expose its more rarely seen belly.
Liking music is usually safe. It doesn’t feel like a leap to express spending time with most artists or genres, unless they are particularly controversial. Even then, most people don’t seem to have adverse reactions to someone minding their business and enjoying music.
Expressing dislike of music, on the other hand, is much more abrasive. It can feel like one has to go out of their way to get to the point where they are opinionated enough about their dislikes to talk about and stand behind their claim.
A reasonable reaction to this might simply be “just don’t listen to it.”
This takes away such a fun opportunity. It’s very human to be perplexed by why people enjoy certain things. There is a sort of self-acceptance in embracing this dislike.
Being able to embrace and also voice these opinions is a vulnerable act. It is not just the negative inverse of liking: people identify multidimensional reasons for disliking music, related to self-image, beliefs and aesthetics, according to the National Library of Medicine.
It tends to be a very bonding experience to dislike the same artist. In the case they are wildly popular, it creates a rare recognition, and an us-against-the-world type of closeness that is fun in its uniqueness, as long as it’s not taken too seriously.
The main thing that captivates me about disliking music is it’s active rather than passive. The default for music seems to be neutrality, or possibly a light sort of enjoyment. For someone to dislike music, it has to come from a place of action —they are stirred out of their neutral state to put their foot down and say “this is bad.”
In fact, disliking music can trigger physiological responses, like increase in heart rate, skin conductance and muscle tension according to the National Library of Medicine. It literally stirs people physiologically, an emotionally charged, revealing reaction.
That thought is distinctive, and adds to the clarity of a person’s current identity. If one is trying to figure out the shape of their personality, the type of person they are, neutrality or casual enjoyment of every music genre seems much more blurry and less helpful than the same situation, but add one music genre or artist that boils that person’s blood.
In the case a person doesn’t have any dislikes in music, that would also expose something personal about them. In my experience, though, even the least judgmental people have some hidden fiery takes on music.
A friend who fits this description of acceptance recently told me she can’t stand Zach Bryan. Although I have a personal liking for his music, her sharing this knowledge gave me a kind of thrill. From her explanation and my knowledge of her as a person, I could piece together her mentality and try it on for myself.
I can truly say I know this friend better than when I was in a state of subconscious assumption of her neutrality towards Zach Bryan. It’s like this knowledge colored in a sharp line where I assumed there was a more blurred curve.
This works on movies, as well. A fun example of this is running across an intolerance for the “Twilight” series in a different friend. Again, as a reasonably frequent revisitor of the “Twilight”series, there was a delight in this discovery.
This sense of excitement partially stems from the active, bold state of disliking adds a sort of surprise factor to the characters of friends. However, there’s also a simple curiosity, and a fun conversation to be had from these findings.
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Contact Mahali Kuzyk via email: mahali.kuzyk@pepperdine.edu
