Daniel Johnson
Art Editor
Where are you going for Spring Break? Skiing, sunning, drinking? Yeah, me neither. Do you feel bitter at all of your friends for visiting exotic places without you? Well, here’s the perfect solution — a Spring Break prank. If you are bitter like me, there is no better mode of good-hearted retribution than a little practical joke.
Pranks are one of the best ways for relieving stress. They are actually doctor-recommended for relieving anxiety. The key is to make your friends feel annoyed and loved at the same time. So now let me guide you through the wonderful world of mischievous mayhem.
1) The novice. You can always TP something (TP: verb, (from the Egyptian toiletus papyrus: To decorate another’s possession(s) with toilet paper). How to: If you don’t know how to effectively TP someone you should embrace your naivete and try something easy — saran wrap the toilet, prop a water-filled trashcan against their door or sell their name to a telemarketer. These are all too cliché to make a true impact these days unless you really put some effort into the job.
The problem with TP-ing and other over used pranks is that they are over used. Creativity is key. Pro: Easy. Con: Unoriginal. Money: $-$$$ Toilet paper is surprisingly costly when you are purchasing 300 rolls, and if you had money you would be skiing in Aspen, not plotting pranks. So, remember when you are constructing this to think thrifty.
2) The Infiltration. I have on one occasion released several thousand crickets into someone’s room. Another variation has been filling a room with crumpled newspapers or filling a car full of popcorn. How to: Feeder crickets can be purchased at any pet store and can also be bought in bulk. Newspapers can be acquired at recycling facilities (just bring them back for the sake of the trees). Movie theaters trash bags full of popcorn every night. Most managers will be glad to put the bags next to the dumpster for pickup if you convince them that it is for a noble cause. Pro: Every cricket you hear for months will make you smile. Con: Opening up your Monopoly game years later with your friend and finding 20 cricket carcasses. Money: $-$$$$ depending on what you fill the room with.
3) The Switcheroo. This involves subtly changing someone else’s room. How to: This can take many forms. I took everything that my friend owned and turned it backwards or inside out. I made the bed with the box spring on top of the mattress and turned every item of clothing inside out and hung them back on hangars. An ingenious variation of this prank was played last year when someone’s bed appeared in perfect condition in the cafeteria. Pro: A lot of work for a seemingly subtle difference is both rewarding and stylish. Con: You are usually the first to be asked to help move everything back. Money: $.
With pranks, as in most other misdemeanors, there are distinct lines of appropriateness that need to be respected. I stress that these pranks be played on friends in order to build a healthy, playful relationship. This means that the damage should be annoying rather than destructive. For example, do not egg their cars, key their doors or replace their license plates with that of a known criminal.
Next suggestion, stay away from things that they love. Don’t take their cherished stuffed animal, or fill their prized guitar with flour, or, in my case, don’t breathe on my computer.
Remember the key to a good prank is creativity and attention to details. So take the basics and pull something momentous. If you happen to take part in any earth-shattering pranks tell me about it – my roommates are going out of town, and I’m running out of ideas
… No seriously: Daniel.S.Johnson@Pepperdine.edu
2-24-2005