Wendy Tran
Overseas Columnist
Ever feel as if life goes on without you? In the beginning of the year, I felt as if my world back in the United States was on pause for me while I lived this dream of being in France. Everything would be just the way I left it after this year, nothing would have changed. But I have realized how disillusioned I was, and now I sit pondering how I will ever catch up… This past weekend, I visited the Heidelberg house as they are wrapping up their year. Our Spring Break starts after they leave, crazy. We were the first here and last to leave, but I cannot even imagine leaving in about two weeks. It is so bittersweet. I am ready to finally go home, yet there is still more to experience.
I already am starting to miss it here. The other day I told my host mom how I have been making a mental list of all the food I am going to bring back, not as gifts, but for myself. To think, I was starving in the beginning, wishing I would just eat meat, but now, I know I will miss the crêpes, croissants, honey petit déjeuners with chocolate chips (cereal biscuits), fresh baguettes and even the French version of Chinese food.
Even more so, I will miss my daily walk across my bridge, over the beautiful, glittering Rhône River. I will miss having intellectual, philosophical discussions with my host dad over dinner. I will miss cramming in our little student flat with 23 other students everyday. I will miss our crazy humanities professors who are so deeply passionate about the subject that they run out of time each class period. I will super miss shopping at H&M! I will miss our group dinners and parties at the faculty apartment. I will miss hearing, seeing and speaking French. I will miss our group field trips and group bonding activities. I will miss being able to just pick up and discover Europe on the weekends. Gosh, I will even miss those sometimes sketchy couchettes (sleeper cars).
Although, most of all, I will miss these amazing friends with whom I have had the pleasure to spend this trying, challenging, yet wonderful year. Whether you are in Lyon or in Malibu, know that this year would not mean anything to me without your friendship. We have struggled together, cried together and laughed together. And we made it, we survived. We are stronger because of it.
Thus, I have been thinking that maybe those fears of life leaving me behind are actually fears of the opposite. Have I left behind my life in the United States, going on without it? I know I am not the same girl who left LAX eight months ago, but does that mean there is no place for me back at home? After this year, Lyon feels like home, but what about Seattle or Malibu? I guess that no matter where I go, I will make and find a new “home” built by obstacles, love and memories. Having the security that God is with me always in France or America will carry me through. He is good. I find my place and my life in him. I just pray that all of you coming overseas next year will be able to find his will and see his hand every step of the way. À bientôt!
03-31-2005
