Virgo
(This horoscope is intentionally left blank)
Scorpio
Impending adulthood is upon you. No amount of preparation is enough.
Capricorn
Lead the charge to put DVD drives back into Apple products.
Pisces
Someone is going to rain on your parade, so take an umbrella with you.
Taurus
Build healthy habits, like driving everywhere you go. You wouldn’t want to strain those legs of yours.
Cancer
That stuffed animal you brought from home isn’t stealing your soul, stop being silly.
Libra
There is no place like home. Unless you live in a house, in which case there are many houses in existence.
Sagittarius
Never leave a drink unattended. Especially not alone in your room. They may wreck your things.
Aquarius
That shadow you see at night is just your sweater. Probably.
Aries
Skipping showers is not advisable.
Gemini
You should stop procrastinating. All of your assignments are due earlier than they appear.
Leo
Clean out your refrigerator. For the love of all that’s good in this world, clean out your refrigerator!
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Follow Edith Lagos on Twitter: @LagosTacos
As published in the Sept. 26 issue of the Pepperdine Graphic.