OLESYA SALNIKOVA
Staff Writer
What does it take to be a celebrity these days? Apparently to be splashed all over magazines like People, In Touch and Life & Style. In our celeb drenched city, every shop, store and pharmacy is crammed with juicy tidbits of the world’s most rich and famous.
While many people complain about the trashy magazines that dot newsstands, people still read them out of an insatiable curiosity to know about a scandalous public break-up or who hooked up with whom at what party. People buy into the concept of “celebrity” and the publicity craze it creates.
But I see it this way — gossip magazines teach us “little people” about what it takes to be a celebrity and at what costs. In order to be a celebrity, you must:
• Defend your love to a wedding-crashing funnyman. Jennifer Aniston has been causing quite a stir at the newsstands, as she has been in almost every gossip rag since the alleged breakup with boyfriend Vince Vaughn (Aniston denies the split). Despite these rumors, the couple insists they are going strong and that Vince’s “mystery blonde” is just his married pal, producer Kate Pakenham.
• Fly to an African nation and adopt a child in need. Madonna just adopted a child from Malawi only to find out that she has evidently stolen him from his family and made his father sign papers he could not read. Hmm. Oh, but she was just trying to save a child’s life.
• Lose all the baby pounds. Following a low-carb diet and routine work outs, Britney has been busy sliming down after having her second child. Her motivation: her husband’s Tuesday album-release bash. Now that’s love.
• Have a dream wedding with a hot Hollywood giant. TomKat are finally getting hitched and the wedding promises to be absolutely perfect. A flawless Armani gown and romantic Italian cuisine commemorate the couple’s first date in Roma, and pricey wedding gifts from exes abound in this mock fairy-tale ending.
• Have a heartbreak hotel because your husband’s in rehab. Keith Urban, has once again landed himself in rehab for alcohol abuse. While doubting Keith’s claims that she has changed his life, Nicole Kidman is nevertheless standing by her man despite the heartbreak.
• Get a nose job (again). After losing weight and getting a nose job in order to measure up to her ambitiously blonde older sister, Ashlee Simpson is still unsatisfied. According to plastic surgeons, noses change a lot after surgery. Looks like Ashlee is in for a rude awakening.
• Tame your wild ways. Lindsay Lohan is on a temporary partying hiatus as she settles down next to star James Franco. It is not hard to mend your ways when you have a rebound guy seconds away from your last break-up. Nevertheless, the party girl has said she’s had enough. Amen.
Now, if we could only do as the stars do, then we would also be caught in a web of Hollywood rumors. The question is — would we want that for ourselves?
Various magazines claim different things about the same people, so what is the point? If we don’t know them well enough to call them up and ask them if the latest rumor is actually true, then why bother flipping through those silly magazines?
I advise you to ponder this question the next time you feel the urge to open a glossy gossip magazine because what might seem lustworthy is print or photo might not be all that fabulous.
11-02-2006
