Streamers and balloons are scattered around the kitchen floor, making this day one like no other. The familiar room, now filled with presents and decorations, was ready to celebrate senior Amelia Mordan.
When she walked down the stairs of her house, she knew the special day that awaited her. From a treat for breakfast to a special dinner made by her Italian grandmother, Mordan always grew up with unique traditions made for her to recognize the love around her.
“Coming to college, I wanted to bring my family’s traditions to other people and celebrate their birthdays especially,” Mordan said. “Being away from family can definitely be hard, so making somebody’s birthday special is just a super easy way to make people feel seen and loved.”
As I blow out my birthday candles each year, my wish is always the same: to be able to celebrate my birthday with the people who I care about.
For Mordan, senior Ruth Oppong and alumna Avery Vasquez, they said birthdays are a day when an individual realizes they’re not just another being on this earth, but someone worthy of appreciation.
“Because that’s where you know who truly loves you, people who show up for you — it’s not just a celebration for yourself, but it’s a celebration of life with friends around you,” Oppong said.
Growing Older
Special Edition Editor Soliel Lara Aponte takes a bite of her 4th birthday cake. Lara Aponte said the most important part of her birthday is the people that make it feel like more than just a day, surrounding her with love. Photo by Soliel Lara Aponte.
Growing up, the most important tradition in my household was having a candle to blow out — no matter the cake or the place, I would always have my family there.
My parents always made sure to sing the Mexican happy birthday song: “Estas son las mañanitas que cantaba el rey David; hoy por ser tu cumpleaños te las cantamos así. Despierta, Soliel, despierta; mira que ya amaneció, y ya los pajarillos cantan, la luna ya se metió.” They sang the Puerto Rican version as well: “Feliz, feliz en tu dia, amiguita que dios te bendiga, que reine la paz en tu dia y que cumplas muchos mas.”
As children, birthdays are not just about growing older but growing up and looking forward to another year of maturing.
For Mordan, Oppong and Vasquez, they said this annual celebration brings happiness, but it also validates a child’s worth, leaving cherished memories and the feeling of acknowledgement.
Simple gifts from loved ones can hold immense significance, particularly for Oppong. Every year, her dad writes a note card for her birthday — in it, a scripture that he hopes will represent her year.
“Every year I wait for that note,” Oppong said.
A hand-taped yellow brick road from her bedroom door to the front yard and onto the street is just one of the extravagant birthday celebrations Vasquez said she remembers from her childhood. Her mom spent countless hours carefully curating every detail, transforming the day into something magical her daughter would never forget.
“I was obsessed with ‘The Wizard of Oz,’ and I had my little Dorothy costume,” Vasquez said. “She always went over the top, and that was so meaningful. It just shows how much my mom cares about making her kids happy, no matter if it costs her being up all night or spending a ton of money.”
Vasquez had other birthday parties, such as an all-pink party, a circus birthday, an ice cream parlor birthday and others. Through her mom’s efforts, Vasquez realized her love for planning and gift-giving.
Now working as a special events planner, it brings Vasquez so much joy to create events for people to interact with those they love.
“Jumping up to the grandest scale, like weddings, you get to be with people on the best day of their life,” Vasquez said. “You get to be in a room with literally everybody they’ve ever loved — it’s like the most fulfilling thing ever.”
Struggles of Celebrating Your Birthday
Expectations are real, and when birthdays come around, they intensify.
At a point in Vasquez’s life, she disliked her birthday. She said she felt as if the quantity of people acknowledging her birthday was important — it felt as though it was a sort of transaction. She coped with those feelings by downplaying the importance of her birthday and saying she didn’t care.
“No matter what, people love to feel seen, even if they say they hate being seen and hate having attention on them,” Vasquez said. “People want to be acknowledged on a day that means something to them.”
Since rediscovering her love for her birthday, Vasquez said she will go out of her way for friends to make them feel cherished — especially if they insist they don’t care.
Mordan said hoping for someone to wish you a happy birthday shows how much they affect an individual’s life.
“It’s simple: true friends will make you feel special and those who don’t aren’t your true friend,” Mordan said. “People show their true colors on your birthday.”
Mordan said she is gracious with others, more so on their birthday. She said feeling loved and loving people are the two things to live for.
“It’s the first thing that we learn and the first thing we forget — to treat others how we would want to be treated,” Mordan said.
With busy schedules, frequently seeing loved ones gets harder. Oppong said birthdays are the best remedy to having everyone a person cares for in one room.
“It’s a kind of way to stay grounded and just take life little by little, making it seem more special,” Oppong said. “Even if it’s only for a certain hour or period of day.”
Living far from home and without family to celebrate my birthday instantly placed an expectation on others to do so. I often struggled with comparing myself to people’s birthday treatments and celebrations.
But then I realized I should be the one making my birthday unique and memorable. I learned not to leave the value of my special day to be determined by other people. Instead, it opened my eyes to seeing those who do care and show up.
The Lasting Importance of A Birthday
Words turn into feelings once Mordan reads birthday texts and cards — affirmations she can return to when she needs them the most.
“Society doesn’t consistently appreciate the people in their lives enough,” Mordan said. “So your birthday is just a really special day to hold onto for the whole year if you’re needing a little pick-me-up.”
As people grow older, appreciating those around oneself becomes clearer. Mordan said birthdays reflect the season that a person is in and the people who surround them. For her, it’s more about celebrating another year you have with the people you love.
“When you grow up, it’s your family who celebrates it [birthday], and then when you’re in your 20s, it’s your friends,” Mordan said. “But then you create your own family, and you celebrate it with them.”
Aging doesn’t mean birthdays become less meaningful. Oppong said these celebrations change as a person matures.
“It changes because your friend group gets wider, your family too — you celebrate with different people that you love differently,” Oppong said. “It’s never meaningless; it will always be meaningful, even if it was just you and God.”
Birthdays change with the seasons. Vasquez said that throughout every stage in life, birthdays are celebrated differently. However, at the end of the day it’s not about the quantity but rather, the quality.
“As long as I’m just doing something that I love with the people that I love, then that’s a good birthday to me,” Vasquez said.
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Contact Soliel Lara Aponte via email: soliel.lara@pepperdine.edu or via Instagram @soliellarajournalism