I wish that I liked regular black coffee. I sometimes feel guilty voicing to the world my deep love of coffee knowing that I can’t handle its unmitigated taste.
It’s not for a lack of trying though. I’ve tried weaning myself off the coffee pollutants but I always get that too-bitter-shiver when I gulp down a cup of black coffee soon digressing back to my vanilla creamer.
However I recently visited Funnel Mill Rare Coffee and Tea in Santa Monica and it was here that I drank my first cup of delicious black coffee. But not just that I truly think I’ve found the perfect all-around coffee shop — just in time for finals too. I’ve even bestowed upon it the very prestigious Heather’s Stamp of Approval (quite an honor).
Walking in the unassuming door I was surprised at how full the tables and couches were. A handful of people had commandeered the three cozy leather couches and the large coffee table which were at the front of the store in a lounge area surrounded by tied curtains. I was personally jealous of the two students sitting by the window in wooden rocking chairs — those certainly looked comfy.
The rest of the shop was littered with small tables surrounded by bar-height chairs and large tables with long benches. The Asian-inspired shop had immediately put me in a Zen-like stupor; looking back I think I was actually walking in slow motion my eyes wide and blurry entranced by the quiet chatter and tranquil mood. My friend and I grabbed a table with a charming silver lamp and then went up to the counter to order.
I told the lady that we’d never been there before but I’m sure she already knew that due to the glazed look of Zen paralysis on my face. She pushed some menu books in front of us briefly explaining where the coffee came from what the popular blends were and how they individually brew each cup when it’s ordered. So I decided on the “individually brewed” vanilla coffee and took a leap of faith by ordering it black.
To make each cup of coffee they scoop beans out of a glass container grind them and then put them in a funnel-beaker contraption. The boiling water from the beaker shoots up into the funnel mixes with the grounds then filters back down into the beaker. I felt like I was back in AP Chemistry watching a science experiment except brewing coffee is much more exciting to watch that the standardizing of sodium hydroxide.
After they delivered it to my table on a silver platter (literally) I eagerly tasted my science experiment. It was the purest richest smoothest coffee I’ve ever tasted — and that my friends is a significant statement. I felt as if every cup up until that day had been an imposter keeping me trapped in the lie of the Coffee Matrix.
Actually that’s not a bad analogy: I really did feel like Keanu Reeves. The coffee activated in me a super-sense I never knew I had. I was able to taste the absence of the coffee filter the freshness of the roast and even the tree from which the coffee beans came. It was a moment I’ll tell my grandkids about.
The rest of our experience was seamlessly relaxing. They handed us the Wi-Fi directions and password at the counter no haggling necessary; they busied themselves with their own work most of the time leaving us to do ours in peace. The crowd was made up of normal simple people not looking for quirkiness or a social hangout spot but rather a place to sit and work.
As this is my last column I’d like to take a moment to thank all of you loyal readers. Your support of my coffee addiction has been wonderful this semester and I’d like to encourage you to keep up your addiction as well — I’m just an e-mail away if you are ever in need of support. If I’ve learned anything over these past few years it’s that life is so much more productive when you’re caffeinated.