Art by Peau Porotesano
Common wisdom tells us the two topics we should never bring up in polite conversation are religion and politics. As the 2016 presidential election nears, however, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to avoid the latter.
Yet, while we may be tempted to bounce ideas off those around us, we should refrain from relying on our parents’ opinions. Their undeniable influence over our thinking can prevent us from really exploring the issues by ourselves, and more often than not, these conversations are opportunities for division rather than for unity.
A Gallup poll from 2005 shows that political orientation is largely determined by the beliefs of one’s family. Once a student moves away to attend college, however, this homogeneous environment is lost. College provides a multiplicity of ideas, and students must independently decide what principles — political principles included — they want to live by.
This independence is a crucial step in the development of one’s individual character. It signifies that a person is taking responsibility for their own beliefs, and are not merely relying on the authority of their parents. After all, they themselves had to come to those principles independently. Even if, in the end, we find ourselves agreeing with our parents’ political views, it’s much better to have reached these conclusions on our own terms, not under their influence and direction.
Some may say there is no harm in at least consulting our parents about politics. After all, we’ve relied on them for so much of our lives, and even now we may find ourselves coming to them for advice on all sorts of things: life skills, relationships and jobs.
But advice on politics is different than other kinds of advice. Politics concerns how society ought to be organized: This “ought to” is the operative phrase. It means that political beliefs rely not so much on data as on values and principles, and a broad philosophy of life and human nature itself. Two people can look at the same set of data, and arrive at two very different political opinions because their underlying philosophies of life differ.
By definition, this isn’t a kind of knowledge that our parents can pass onto us, as they might with economic advice. And while some may argue that we could still learn from a disinterested conversation on the topic, politics is seldom disinterested. Because political beliefs are motivated by deeply rooted values and opinions about the world, the topic is liable to strike a nerve with some. As David Ropeik writes in Psychology Today, impersonal facts are the “raw blank data” in our minds that “only take on meaning when run through the software of your feelings.”
The situation is worse for those who find themselves disagreeing with their parents, politically. Parents who feel strongly about their political positions may become defensive, feeling that their core values are being threatened. At this point, conversation ceases to be productive. Because political views are tied to these core principles, it is extremely difficult to change somebody’s mind about them in a short period of time.
It isn’t a matter of introducing new data, but changing the framework through which they interpret that data. This is a radical shift that can’t happen over the course of a conversation. Parents won’t be able to convince their children, and vice versa.
We may have deep respect for our parents’ judgment and even agree with them politically. But the subject’s personal and divisive nature makes it a poor choice for conversation, especially since college students are still developing their opinions about the world. In the meantime, we should avoid dead-end conversation that may provoke meaningless discord in our families.
________________
Follow the Pepperdine Graphic on Twitter: @PeppGraphic
