JENNY YANG
Staff Writer
Californians don’t believe in weather. Californians don’t like weather.
Californians believe rain constitutes a storm. Precipitation is one of those great myths out here in the Golden State — like Big Foot or the boogeyman or a past fling that only appears occasionally in funny stories around the dinner table. Of course when those flings come up in conversation, the tendency is to laugh. When the rain comes up in conversation, the tendency is to bitch and moan.
Suck it up, I say. Suck it up and get over it. Granted, I hate driving in the rain — especially out here where no one seems to know the two main driving-in-the-rain rules: slow down and increase following distance. Yes, I passed driver’s ed., thank you. Hydroplaning is not fun. Hydroplaning in the canyon is a definite bummer.
This is why you don’t go out in the rain. No one will laugh at you if you stay indoors snuggling up with your teddy bear. OK, I might laugh, but who would ever know. At the same time, don’t let the rain spoil your mood or your sense of adventure. This mostly means that the rain is a great excuse to watch TV. Catch up on “Real World” reruns. Check out what’s going on with those crazy Survivors.
So what if I’m obsessed with reality shows? Who isn’t these days? Right, besides you since I’m sure you’re “too cool.” I just watched an episode of the “Bachelorette” and found myself wondering, what if my real life was like that? I’d round up my secret crushes (at this point in the semester I’ve narrowed down the field to three) and ask them to accept a rose. They’d battle among themselves for my attention. We’d go on a few dates helicoptering around the area or horseback riding on the beach. Four weeks from now I could be engaged. How lovely… on second thought, never mind. I just threw up a little at the thought of such ridiculousness.
I’m just going to go ahead and put it out there: There is no need to be engaged in college in this day and age. I mean, come on. This is 2005, not 1950. Let’s figure out what it is that we really want out of life before we fall back on the obvious answer of marriage.
Isn’t it a bit cliche to want a spouse so soon? I’d at least like to pretend to figure out who I am alone and out of the schooling environment before I want to inflict such a person on anyone else. What if non-academic Jenny is completely boring? What if she only goes out once a month? What if she is completely consumed with the almighty dollar? What if she only refers to herself in the third person?
The whole thing just seems lame to me. If you’re so in love, why can’t you give it a few more years? Sure, you can always have a long engagement, but what’s really the point there? So you can parade around with a title and a ring saying sophisticated French words like “fiance?” Gag me. Then again, maybe I’m just in denial. People our age get engaged; I should just get used to it. Eww, no. That’s like saying I should get used to stepping on snails around campus. I might tolerate it, but I’ll never get used to it… and I’ll always think it’s gross.
I’m sitting here, and I’m trying to think of three good reasons why any of us should take such a huge step so early in our lives. Here’s what I’ve come up with: 1) One or both of you are deathly ill. 2) Two words — arranged marriage. 3) OK, I honestly can’t come up with a third. So, if you’re dying or abiding under the wings of overly involved parents, I guess you can go for it. Otherwise, there is no excuse.
True, no one wants to be alone. Everyone wants someone to accept them for who they are. But when will that person stop being played by the role of boyfriend or girlfriend? When can that someone be the only one who really matters… you? Hmm, that was dramatic. Man, I’ve been watching too much corny TV. I hope it stops raining soon.
Would you accept this rose?
E-mail me: jlyang@pepperdine.edu
02-24-2005