Bizarre political Web sites add humor to the election season with satirical clothes, dress up candidates, outrageous bumper stickers and more.
By SARAH PYE
Editor in Chief
Precious Yamaguchi / Asst. Art Editor.
Ah, the Internet. Never before has there been a medium that was home to so much of the strange, the bizarre and the downright wacky.
Luckily for us in the computer age, a good laugh is never more than a click away. During this year’s presidential election, when the fur starts flying and the insults are being bandied about faster than John Kerry can change his position on the war in Iraq (or, for Democrats: faster than the recession of Dick Cheney’s hairline), isn’t it nice that there is a place we can go to put it all in perspective and dredge a little humor out of the American political machine?
No one (and no topic) is safe from internet persecution. Want a Web site that will let you dress up our president like Osama bin Laden, complete with a turban and AK-47? It’s out there. Does your car cry out for a bumper sticker that reads “Nuke Berkeley”? You got it.
Irreverent? You bet. But sometimes, we’ve just got to put seriousness aside and have a laugh about it all. So check out these finds – the best the World Wide Web has to offer in the utter humiliation of anyone, and anything, associated with politics.
Bush Cards: www.bushcards.com
These cards, made by Project Pretzel (“Be advised – the truth may be hard to swallow”), offer 52 different reasons to have a chuckle over the current administration. This poker-sized deck is filled with Bush administration facts, figures and photos – each card features a different member of the cabinet, and offers up all sorts of information you never knew but always wondered about. Which member of the Cabinet once had to “physically restrain” Boris Yeltsin in the White House basement? Who’s the resident ex-con? And which top official once said, “There are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know”? For just $7.95, you can find out. Some of the information seems just a touch angry, but for the most part, it is good clean political fun. And, as the Web site says, “If you’re not playing with Bush Cards, you’re not playing with a full deck.”
To find this product online: Visit http://www.bushcards.com/.
Deck of Democratic Weasels: www.newsmaxstore.com
Add this deck of playing cards to your collection, offered on (deal alert!) clearance from the newsmax Web site. The Deck of Democratic Weasels will liven up bridge night with quotes from world liberals who make Republican skin crawl. Including everyone from Michael Moore to Barbra Streisand to, interestingly, The Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the Weasel Brigade is good for a giggle. It’s worth the $9.95 just to find out “which congressman blamed Operation Iraqi Freedom on the Jews.” A word of caution: As with the Bush Cards, and, frankly, all the other merchandise listed in this article, those who take politics too seriously should steer clear – these cards are only for those who don’t offend easily. But where else can you go to find out that Fidel Castro, Kim Jong-il and even — yes, it’s shocking but true! — George Clooney are all Democrats in disguise?
To find this product online: Visit http://www.newsmaxstore.com/. Click on Product Index on the left-hand menu. Scroll down to the “Humor” heading and click on “Deck of Weasels.”
George W. Bush “Top Gun” Action Figure: www.victorystore.com
The Victory Store is home to all the campaign bumper stickers, pins, yard signs, dish towels, ear hair trimmers, etc., that a person could ever want. Need a blow-up punching bag featuring an extremely unflattering cartoon of John Kerry? You can find it here. But among the many offerings is a little gem in the George W. Bush “Top Gun” Action Figure. This Bush could take on any G.I. Joe, dressed in a flight suit identical to the one “W” wore when he landed that plane on the USS Lincoln. You’re just $28.95 away from reenacting the whole thing in your living room.
To find this product online: Visit http://www.victorystore.com/ and scroll down to the Bush Action Figure icon on the left-hand side.
The John Kerry Action Figure: www.politicalhumor.about.com
Of course John Kerry has an action figure, too! Sadly, this one’s not for sale, but it’s still darn funny to look at on the Political Humor Web site. The action figure is reported to come with many bonus features, including three disposable Purple
Hearts, a spring-loaded arm for life-like medal-chucking action, a Botox maintenance kit to keep your figure as youthful as the original, and a clip-on tie so your little John can “play president.” According to the box, John Kerry action figures are “made in Vietnam using imported French materials.”
To find this online: Visit http://www.politicalhumor.about.com/ and click on “Kerry Political Cartoons” on the left-hand menu under “Essentials.” Click on “John Kerry Action Figure” in the list of choices.
T-shirts: http://artapart.com
Need at T-shirt with a political slogan on it? This is one-stop shopping. Priced from about $13 to $18, highlights include:
“More Trees — Less Bush”
“More Bush — Less Tree Huggers”
“Beat Bush, Save Lives”
“Kerry for President of France”
“Re-Defeat Bush 2004”
“If I Win, Free Ketchup for Everyone — Kerry for President, 2004”
“Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Democrat”
and, of course, “Britney Spears for President”
To find these products online: Visit http://artapart.com/ and click on the Election “T-shirts” link.
Re-Elect Gore, 2004: www.cafepress.com/4gore2004
This Web site says, “We all know who won the last election. Let’s put the people’s president in the Oval Office in 2004!” At cafepress.com, you can buy any imaginable style of white shirt, all emblazoned with the “Re-Elect Gore, 2004” logo. It’s worth a visit, if for no other reason than to be amazed by just how many styles of white shirt they are willing to sell you: T-shirts, sweatshirts, tank tops, hoodies, short sleeves, long sleeves, three-quarter sleeves, sleeveless, fitted shirts, golf shirts … the list goes on and on. Outfit baby with a “Re-Elect Gore” sleeper and bib. Sip your morning coffee from a “Re-Elect Gore” mug. Bring your books to class in a “Re-Elect Gore” book bag. Oh, and for all of those who are no doubt wondering, yes, they do sell “Re-Elect Gore” boxer shorts and thongs, too.
To find these products online: Visit www.cafepress.com/4gore2004
Magnetic Dress-up Bush Set: www.stickergiant.com
Haven’t you always wondered what Bush would look like dressed like Carmen Miranda? Those who are curious should check out these Dress-up Bush magnets. In addition to Carmen’s frilly South-American styles, visitors to the site can play at dressing Bush up like a Rastafarian, Osama bin Ladden or a Revolutionary War-era patriot. There’s even one very patriotic American Flag toga. And for $16.49, you can bring the magnet activity set home. It will make trips to the ‘fridge all that much more entertaining.
To find this product online: Visit www.stickergiant.com/page/sg/dubya.
Conservative Bumper stickers, mouse pads and more: www.libertyoutlet.com
Conservatives tired of all those liberal bumper stickers motoring around town pasted on the back of Volkswagen vans have decided to fight back.
The pro-Bush, tongue-in-cheek “gun nuts” at libertyoutlet.com have assembled a wide array of merchandise proudly stating their conservative views. Among the best:
•“France – Irrelevant for over 150 years” bumper sticker
•“If John Kerry’s wife doesn’t trust him with her money, why should we trust him with ours?” bumper sticker
•“Dalai Lama – Famous Gun Nut” coffee mug
•“Heartless Libertarian” T-shirt
•“Musket Ban – Citizens Against Musket Violence” mouse pad
To find these products online: Visit http://www.libertyoutlet.com/ and select from the list of products under the “Product Info” menu on the left-hand side.
09-23-2004
