Sophomore Emery Arnold swims in Hawai’i on July 10. Arnold said she was happy to be surrounded by the ocean and people she loves. Photo courtesy of Emery Arnold
Grappling with the constant urge to want more is something many students are trying to navigate. Fulfillment is the recipe for conquering that urge and enjoying the subtleties of life.
Students at Pepperdine said they wrestle with the ups and downs of wanting more, how Pepperdine’s culture affects their lives and how they ultimately find their fulfillment.
“Pepperdine is truly amazing,” sophomore Emma Hudelson said. “We are getting an amazing education, but in every aspect of my life, I feel like I am playing catch-up.”
The Ups and Downs of Wanting More
Coming to a school like Pepperdine is a blessing — the beautiful scenery, driven students, engaging professors and endless opportunities — but as with all things good, there is bad, Hudelson said.
“Wanting what we don’t have is something everyone feels,” Hudelson said. “If everybody were OK with where they’re at in life, we wouldn’t have goals or drive whatsoever.”
First-year Hope Hacker said being surrounded by people who are constantly striving for more pushes her to do better in almost every aspect of her life.
“When the people around you are put together, it kind of forces you to conform to what everyone else is doing,” Hacker said.
Hudelson said striving for more can be a great thing, but when people reach a point where they are never happy with what they have, it becomes damaging.
“Once people start to chase superficial goals — like physical appearance — it becomes self-deprecating,” Hudelson said.
Other students think the idea of wanting what we don’t have is a direct result of Pepperdine’s student demographic and wealthy stereotype, Hacker said.
Malibu is a highly wealthy area. Sophomore Emery Arnold said this demographic makes it easier for people to come off as more put-together.
“Specifically with social media, it seems like everyone has it all together,” Arnold said.
Arnold said when it feels like everyone has it all together, she turns to her friends to remind herself it’s OK to be imperfect.
“It’s really easy to stay true to yourself and be honest about the things you’re struggling with if you surround yourself with the right people,” Arnold said.
Pepperdine’s Culture
Multiple students said Pepperdine has a culture where people strive to be the best — sometimes at the expense of their own well-being.
“There is something for everyone here,” Arnold said. “It’s really easy to find yourself at a school that offers such a wide range of activities.”
(From left to right) First-years Sage Owens, Hope Hacker, Josie Pascal and Layla Evers pose together Oct. 4. Hacker said she finds gratitude at Pepperdine when she does things with her friends like going off campus to grab dinner. Photo courtesy of Hope Hacker
Arnold said Pepperdine’s culture has dualities. In some areas, like extracurriculars, the culture excels and in others, it doesn’t — for example, socioeconomic status.
“Pepperdine culture is very hierarchical and focuses a lot on status and money,” Arnold said.
Hudelson said she felt the same type of hierarchical culture, which she wasn’t used to. The things that never mattered to her before suddenly became prevalent when she came to college.
“I grew up in a small beach town,” Hudelson said. “Appearances didn’t matter. Designer and luxury brands didn’t matter. Getting an A on every test you took didn’t matter, but here at Pepperdine, that all matters.”
Many students feel like the seemingly perfect culture of Pepperdine should be obvious when choosing to attend school in Malibu, Arnold said.
“We’re in such an expensive area and a lot of the students fit that demographic,” Arnold said.
Malibu is regarded as one of the most expensive places to live in LA County with a median home price of $4,115,000 according to Estate of Grace.
Arnold said this type of culture is expected in such a wealthy area and it was no surprise to her when she came to school here.
Hacker said she felt the same way. She said she grew up in a culture very similar to Pepperdine. Even though she recognizes the issues with it, it did not come as a surprise.
Finding Fulfillment
Hudelson and her mother camp at Joshua Tree April 15. She said her family always brings her back to her true self. Photo courtesy of Emma Hudelson
When navigating artificial perfection, students find different ways to ground themselves and come back to reality.
Hacker said she grounds herself in her faith.
“One thing that really helps me is going to church,” Hacker said. “It’s a constant reminder that I should be grateful for what I have.”
Hacker said one of the biggest reasons people are never satisfied is that they are so focused on themselves and don’t think about others. She said she avoids falling into those habits and tries her best to have empathy for others all the time.
“Take a step back and look at the whole situation,” Hacker said. “Watch the people’s lives who have less than you and put yourself in their shoes or just show compassion to them.”
In combination with awareness of others’ situations, Arnold said she also needs to focus on the deep connections in her own life.
“I personally find fulfillment by spending time with quality friends, time with God, or time doing the things that make me happy,” Arnold said.
Arnold said she thinks that getting off the internet and spending time in reality brings her back to what really matters.
For Hudelson, personal fulfillment is what she chooses it to be. She said negative thoughts are a choice and can be fixed.
“People look at themselves and decide if they’re happy with what they see. If you’re not happy with what you see, you need to change something,” Hudelson said.
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Contact Sophie Rogers via email: sophie.rogers@pepperdine.edu
