Transparency item: The Perspectives section of the Graphic is comprised of articles based on opinion. This is the opinion and perspective of the writer.
A lot of a person’s time is spent doing things they’d rather not be doing. Some people orient themselves toward following their passions more than others, but even then, there are emails and essays they don’t want to write, tests they’d rather not study for and so on.
In a life filled with nuisances and the reality that the further one leans into a lot of these things, the more traditionally successful one tends to become, there should be a way to balance out the drag a person might feel due to these stresses.
I propose, from personal experience, the best way to find this balance is by doing specifically odd, fanciful, and pointless things that one does want to do. In other words, experimenting with whimsical use of free will.
The less I have pushed myself outside of the little gray box of my comfort zone, the more that illusion of the grey box begins to feel real, and like something that can actually hold me back. A very simple way to combat that is by stepping outside of the little grey box.
For example, I used to consider myself an introvert. I still believe I am, but it doesn’t keep me from having interesting interactions that I believe are worth my time like it used to. The way I went about making this shift was simply by having “pointless” conversations on topics I think might be interesting.
Asking someone what they were thinking about when they look like they were recently zoned out isn’t normal, but it is fun and often makes one understand that person in a unique way. Taking a single line a professor dropped during class that has nothing to do with the subject matter but sparked an interest in one is worth talking to them after class about. Asking anyone a very specific question that pops up almost intrusively — in moderation — might get one into a conversation unlike anything they’ve experienced before.
Once I hopped across the lines that I drew myself into, it became a lot more natural for me to ignore them or forget that they exist altogether. I experienced a switch where people began casually dropping that I’m an extrovert, when before I considered myself to be shy to a fault with a tendency to avoid experiences that may have frightened me.
Another thing to note for those of us that take religion or spirituality seriously is a line written across the walls of Stauffer Chapel that says “The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” (Psalm 23:1).
If one were to take these lines as seriously as is personally possible for them, they might free up a lot of time and effort that had previously been used for chasing monetary gains or ego-driven ambitions. Whimsical use of free will is a perfect way to fill that newfound time.
Along a similar line of thinking, I’ve heard a response to “money can’t buy happiness” that is something along the lines of “I would rather be crying in a Porsche than a Toyota Corolla.” This isn’t a fully formed thought.
Someone’s inward state is the same regardless of their surroundings in this situation, so the only thing that could cause a preference to be at a low point in a nice car versus a cheap one is ego. Either way, that ego hasn’t made the hypothetical crier happy so far in this situation, so it clearly isn’t worth much.
What’s funnier, though, is that the hypothetical crier probably could possibly be genuinely happy if they were spending more time doing whimsical things for whimsical reasons, rather than only doing required things that are means to a monetary end.
They could be generating experiences for themselves that bring them joy.
A big aspect of whimsy is that it involves doing exactly what a person wants in the moment — as long as it doesn’t harm anyone.
Through this, whimsy helps one explore oneself and their desires.
When I began experimenting with whimsy, I unlocked the realization that I enjoyed surfing. I became friends with my professors through conversations that I genuinely wanted to have because they were outrageous and unusual. A couple new groups of friends spawned into my life that enriched and expanded my worldview because I was more open to random conversation and trying new things.
Shuffling along in life and checking boxes that one feels that they should complete isn’t a crime, but the grey box that a person draws becomes solidified the longer that person sits in it. One can convince oneself they only fit with a certain crowd, in a certain career, in a certain tax bracket or in a certain Myers Briggs personality type, and might never take steps to challenge these things.
My final point is that many people have an almost painful sense of nostalgia for being kids, but as kids, they used to want to be adults so they could have the freedom to do whatever they want. Now as adults, some people don’t do anything that they want for the sake of the fact that they can, which is a prime example of wasted opportunity.
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Contact Mahali Kuzyk via email: mahali.kuzyk@pepperdine.edu
