Transparency Item: The Perspectives section of the Graphic is comprised of articles based on opinion. This is the opinion and perspective of the writer.
As an English major with an emphasis in writing and rhetoric, I think a lot about effective communication. Although communication may seem simple on the surface, an effective communication exchange relies on an abundance of complex factors.
The first step toward effective communication is becoming an active listener, meaning “listening with all of one’s senses,” according to the National Library of Medicine.
It is not enough to simply listen to the content of a message because only 8% of communication is content. The rest is body language and tone of voice, according to the National Library of Medicine.
Next, communicators must be aware of how their relationship with their conversation partner may affect how the message is received, according to the National Library of Medicine.
Intent can become irrelevant during conversation. Instead, a speaker must anticipate how an audience will understand and interpret their message.
Other factors that contribute to a successful conversation include time, setting, organization and a clear purpose statement, according to the National Library of Medicine.
Communication is not easy, simple or straightforward. However, speakers and listeners can adopt strategies in efforts to streamline communication.
At one of my previous political internships, my supervisor would be bombarded with calls from desperate constituents with pressing problems. Many of the callers were overcome with emotion.
My supervisor recognized that her time was valuable. Instead of sitting on the phone listening to someone complain, she could be using that time more effectively to help someone with a problem she could actually fix.
To put it simply, she could not wait on the phone for an hour listening to their stories, no matter how horrible and unfair they were.
I was fascinated when I got the opportunity to observe her on the phone. From her decades of experience, my supervisor could easily identify when someone was beginning to waste her time.
She would interrupt them and ask the same phrase every single time: Please state your request.
Although it is a simple statement, asking someone to “state their request” may be one of the best strategies to streamline communication that I have ever heard.
While context and emotional appeals most definitely belong in communication exchanges, they can often distract from the bottom line of a conversation.
At the end of the day, no matter the context of the story, my supervisor needed to perform an action on behalf of a constituent. She was simply unable to do this if she did not know what their request was.
Observing those phone calls transformed my communication strategy. Before I approach a professional conversation, I ask myself, “what is my request?”
Then, when I actually have the conversation, I center the conversation around my request. I mention it at the beginning and end of the conversation, and I ensure that all of the additional information I provide centers around the request.
Many workplaces try to use similar communication styles.
Leaders who use “caring candor,” meaning speaking in a kind yet straightforward tone, are most efficient. Their reasoning is simple: “Direct is faster,” according to Forbes.
I become aggravated when a professional or social interaction has a purpose, but I am not understanding what the purpose is. As Forbes suggests, it would be much faster to simply say exactly what we mean.
Sometimes I wish that I could borrow that same phrase, “please state your request,” and use it in my personal life for people who do not adopt the same communication strategy that I use.
However, this communication strategy is inherently direct, and some people do not communicate well with directness.
It is also easy for the directness to be perceived as aggressive, overbearing and cold. I myself have been called these things due to my direct communication strategy.
It is important to find a middle ground between people holding back from telling the truth and brutal honesty, according to Forbes.
Although directness risks seeming aggressive, it is oftentimes necessary in order to achieve an effective communication exchange.
The next time you approach a high-stakes conversation, I recommend defining a clear purpose statement and/or request. Ensure that the conversation centers around it and that your listener understands it.
In conversation, make an effort to combine kindness and clarity. It will likely increase the efficiency of your communication exchanges and leave all conversation participants feeling confident and informed.
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Contact Caitlin Murray via email: caitlin.murray@pepperdine.edu
