By Karma Christine Salvato
Staff Writer
Death.
It is never easy to talk about — or to accept.
What’s worse, is when you lose someone you care for without ever having told them what they meant to you.
A little less than a year ago I found out that a friend I hadn’t talked to in a while died in a motorcycle accident.
I’ve never personally known anyone who died before and that news left me in a state of shock.
Sure, there have been distant relatives, acquaintances and people I sort of knew who died, but never anyone I vividly remember having a conversation with, or someone who knew details of my life.
It was difficult news to believe.
I think I am still dealing with it. This week in particular I am struggling with the loss all over again.
You see, tomorrow is his birthday.
I believe that part of my sadness is rooted in guilt. I kept meaning to call him to find out how things were going, but I was always “too busy.”
I meant to call. Really, I did. But now it is too late. I can’t tell him how much I enjoyed talking with him or thank him for always making me laugh.
How many times have you “meant to call” someone, but then didn’t? Too busy? Too tired? Simply not in the mood? What was your excuse?
Good intentions are fine and dandy, but they are just that —good intentions. Intending to do something and actually doing it are two entirely different things.
Not calling someone doesn’t mean you, or I for that matter, are bad people, it just means that perhaps we need to reevaluate our priorities in life.
Since this recent tragedy, I certainly have. Relationships with friends and family are valuable and are needed for our survival. But, we shouldn’t neglect to nurture those relationships because we are too busy or too scared of someone’s reaction.
Sometimes our pride must be quashed and we must put ourselves out there, even if rejection and embarrassment loom overhead. Deep, worthwhile relationships require a certain amount of risk.
So you tell someone that you love them and they don’t say it back. Or, you tell someone how much they have changed your life and they aren’t sure how to respond. So what? Those are pretty petty concerns, don’t you think?
Kind words and a loving gesture may be just what someone needs. And though that may cause an awkward silence — it could have a profound impact. Honesty is always a little bit awkward, but it has the capacity to change lives and soften hearts. Don’t let an opportunity to tell someone that you care about them pass you by.
It is unwise to wait for tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come.
—Need to tell someone something? E-mail Karma Christine Salvato at PrancingPen@aol.com.
February 20, 2003