Since students spend so much time online, more and more Pepperdine undergrads are turning to the Internet to meet people.
By Kimiko Martinez
Lifestyles Editor
It’s not always easy to find your Prince (or Princess) Charming.
Especially if you’re locked away in Towers at the top of a hill.
But thanks to modern technology, women (and men, of course) are finding a new way to let down their hair, Rapunzel-style, and let love climb in.
According to Jupiter Media Metrix, a company that tracks Internet usage, an estimated 17.2 million people viewed online personals and 2.5 million paid for online ads. And online dating sites are one of the few sectors of the Internet that is flourishing while many other dotcoms continue to crash.
While many students are leery of finding love online, quite a few admit to being open to the idea. Utilizing chat rooms, forums and the ever-popular AOL Instant Messenger and its Yahoo! counterpart, as well as dating sites, more and more students are meeting people via the Internet.
With such a computer savvy population it seems almost inevitable that Pepperdine students would and could utilize the Internet for matchmaking purposes. But since some of that old school stigma — that only computer nerds and desperate, lonely people look for love online — still exists, few feel comfortable coming out and admitting they’ve met dates online.
IT DIDN’T START OUT THAT WAY
One 19-year-old political science major, who prefers to remain unnamed, said it all started out while messing around online with a friend.
“My best friend and I did it as a joke,” she said, recalling the night during her senior year in high school when the two girls placed their info on a Yahoo! Personals page. “But then you kind of get hooked.”
The junior said she actually ended up meeting and dating quite a few people that she’d met online, one relationship lasting eight months. She even chatted up some Southern Californians before moving cross-country to attend Pepperdine. But she’s quick to admit that meeting people online can be tricky.
“Most people are looking for . . . whatever,” she said, insinuating that many users simply want to “hook up.” “I met some really strange people, some people that made me a little uncomfortable. But I met some really nice people too.”
Elice Giorgione had a similar experience. During her junior year in high school she and some friends posted their pictures on www.hotornot.com.
“My friends thought it would be funny to put our pictures up and see how the general public rated us,” Giorgione said. “I had no intentions of meeting someone special, although I did get several messages from people who had seen my picture/profile and wanted to chat or meet.”
Although Giorgione said none of those who contacted her were the kind of people she was looking for, she hasn’t ruled out any future possibilities.
“I welcome any messages and potential conversations that may result from someone seeing my photograph on this site,” she said. “And I’m not ruling out the possibility of actually making a friend in this manner. I guess I’ll just see how things go.”
GOING WITH THE ONLINE FLOW
That seems to be the attitude that many college Internet users have.
Although senior Kristina Schneider had a two-and-a-half year relationship that originated from using AOL services like chat rooms and Instant Messenger, she said she doesn’t go online “looking for love.”
“I go online to make friends and meet some cool new people,” the 22-year-old business administration major said. “And if something more than friendship occurs between me and a guy I met online, then I’ll learn to deal with that when the time comes.”
The 19-year-old political science major agrees.
“It’s a nice way to meet people that you wouldn’t normally meet,” she said. “I know people at Pepperdine who’ve met other people from Pepperdine through sites. But most people don’t want to talk about it.”
Giorgione said she’s met quite a few people from Pepperdine online.
“I get quite a few random instant messages on AOL from people who end up being students here at Pepperdine,” Giorgione said. “I’d probably never end up meeting them in person if it weren’t for the Internet, so I guess they just find me because the word ‘Pepperdine’ is in my profile.”
SWF SEEKS SWM
Online personals have come a long way since those three-line, code-filled advertisements in newspapers. Today’s singles can access personal profiles and do filtered searches for potential mates that meet specific criteria. Several sites, such as campuskiss.com, christiansingles. com or blacksingles.com target a tailored audience, but a host of others attract a much more diverse population.
According to Jupiter, the most-visited sites include personals.yahoo.com, match.com, matchmaker.com and date.com. Each have the same basic setup asking users to fill out basic profiles, preferably including a picture, and usually some questions about personal interests and preferences, and qualities in a potential mate. Some even have added features like instant messaging and the ability to add voice and video clips — all anonymous, of course, via a screen name.
Most sites offer some sort of free trial in the form of posting a profile and looking through other members’ profiles, but be ready to fork over between $20 and $30 if you actually want to be able to contact someone you’re interested in.
Several of these sites have more than a million members, many of whom are under 40. And as the market keeps booming, providers are looking at adding more features to draw in and retain users.
Match.com, which has about 8 million members, also offers live singles mixers (some of which are attended by match.com spokesperson The Bachelor’s Alex Michel) as well as a travel site geared for single travelers.
Other non-dating sites are getting in on the game too. Hundreds of sites nationwide, from specialized interest sites like nerve.com and self discovery site emode.com to local radio station’s and even wireless phone carriers like AT&T, have added an online dating component, maximizing on the fact that site users all have at least that one thing in common.
Schneider said she’s met several people through specialized sites and weblogs/online journal sites where others “manage to meet you.”
And although few are really talking about it, a simple search on Yahoo! Personals or match.com reveals several profiles from Pepperdine students.
SO LONG STIGMA
But if they’re online, why aren’t they talking about it?
“I know some people discredit online dating as something desperate . . . but meeting others online is just another form of making friends,” Schneider said. “I think it’s, for the most part, safer than, say, running into someone at a bar or a club and only knowing them for one thing — that they like to drink and/or dance and they’re cute.”
And for many, who aren’t into the club/bar scene at all, that leaves fewer options for places to meet other singles.
“The bar scene, the club scene, isn’t really my thing,” the 19-year-old political science major said. “Computers are. So why not utilize what I like to do.”
Schneider seconds that emotion.
“I don’t really go clubbing and I don’t drink and party, so where would I really meet other people?” she questioned. “(Online isn’t) the only way I meet people, but for me, I’m someone that is 1) computer savvy, 2) enjoys one-on-one time of getting to know people (both guys and girls), and 3) enjoys quiet time at home and away from people. Online sees to satisfy all of those for me.”
Others are still a little more skeptical.
“I think talking over the Internet provides people with a certain level of anonymity which means they can either be brutally honest or a complete liar without really having to deal with any consequences,” senior Angela Coury said. “This doesn’t seem to be the best circumstance for starting a relationship, so I don’t see myself dating anyone I met online. I guess I’m just not trusting enough to actually go out with someone I met over the Internet. I just assume everyone could be an axe murderer or something.”
But of the millions of singles giving online dating a try, they can’t all be axe murderers.
And like in real life, you’re going to have to kiss some frogs before you find your prince/princess. And while these sites are boasting hundreds of marriages and thousands of matches every year, perhaps there’s more to the whole online dating thing than people are giving it credit for.
So why not try letting your hair down online and screening those princes/princesses before they climb up into your castle?
Online Singles Sites
Yahoo! Personals: personals.yahoo.com
COST: $24.95 for one month
DEMOGRAPHICS: a range of 21- to 40-year-old professionals
PERKS: Voice and video clips, and conversation starters
COST: $24.95 for one month
DEMOGRAPHICS: about 8 million members, about half of whom are under 30
PERKS: Match.com messenger, MatchLive mixers (additional cost) and MatchScene, an singles webzine.
COST: $24.95 for one month
DEMOGRAPHICS: 10 million members
PERKS: Extensive question/essay portion, specialized sections including College Connection and Christian Connection, and singles events.
COST: $24.95 per month
DEMOGRAPHICS: about a million members, 30 percent between 20 and 30
PERKS: Uses a secret formula designed by relationship experts and psychologists to pair people up
COST: pay per credit, $19.95 for 10 credits
DEMOGRAPHICS: more than 3.5 million members
PERKS: ability to send and recieve basic messages for free, and three different communities: Dating, Romance and Intimate.
COST: $49.95 for one month
DEMOGRAPHICS: hundreds of thousands of singles looking for long-term relationships
PERKS: a patent-pending matching model based on 29 key dimensions
COST: $14.95 for 60 credits
DEMOGRAPHICS: 4.6 million members exchanging 1.1 million messages daily
PERKS: real-time instant messaging, in-depth profiling and interactive voice response telephone technology.
February 13, 2003
