Your etiquette should reflect the class and sophistication of royalty, not trailer trash.
By Maya Minwary
Assistant Lifestyles Editor
Three forks, two knifes and one spoon surround a plate. Right across from the plate are several fancy goblets and a little plate with another knife on top of it. Students can get lost in the sea of silverware and goblets involved in a formal dining experience, but Pepperdine’s Etiquette Dinner helps them through the manners maze.<?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p> </o:p>
In the tradition of eating fast and cheap at Burger King, Denny’s and Subway, many students have grown up eating in an informal environment. The idea of a formal dinner just doesn’t come up often for most students. <o:p></o:p>
“Before the Etiquette Dinner, I had no idea which forks to use and which utensils to eat with the course,” sophomore Annabel Mojica said. “I don’t think we practice eating formally as much because we eat so much fast food. There’s really no opportunity to eat a formal five-course meal.” <o:p></o:p>
Even when students aren’t eating a five-course meal at a five-star restaurant, table manners and dining etiquette are still important concepts. Even having dinner at someone’s house can be an daunting situation for some students.<o:p> </o:p>
“(Dining etiquette) is really important, but not often followed except in a business or formal setting,” senior Jarin Renfroe said. “It’s not applied to everyday life because some people think it’s too difficult, but I think it’s important and should be applied to everyday situations.”<o:p> </o:p>
Students may also soon find themselves in a formal dining situation for a dinner interview, business luncheon or meeting the parents of a significant other. Like it or not, the way you act will matter in these situations. <o:p></o:p>
SILVERWARE<o:p> </o:p>
Work from the outside in. When using a knife and fork, the American style of “zigzag” — changing the fork from the left to the right hand after cutting — is correct. The European method of leaving the fork in your left is also correct. Put down the fork on the top part of your plate after cutting. Never cut more than three pieces. If your silverware falls to the ground, tell the server and ask for a clean set. <o:p></o:p>
When the main course is finished, the knife and fork are placed beside each other at the four o’clock position on the plate. The dessert spoon and fork are placed in the same position. <o:p></o:p>
THE TUCK AND FOLD<o:p> </o:p>
For the most part, you can put the napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down. At a formal dinner, you can place the napkin on top of your lap as soon as your host or hostess does it. Remove the napkin from the table, unfold as necessary and put it on your lap. Never tuck it into your collar or belt and don’t wipe your lips with it. Simply blot or pat your lips with the napkin. <o:p></o:p>
When you leave the table, place the napkin on the left side of you. If you’re done with your meal and your plate has been removed, don’t crumple up your napkin or refold it, rather place the napkin in a loose fold in the center of your place. At a formal setting, the host or hostess lays his or her napkin to signal the end of a meal, and you may place down your napkins afterward. <o:p></o:p>
WELL BREAD<o:p> </o:p>
Break the bread using your fingers. Don’t cut the bread in half and spread the butter. Instead, break the bread in pieces and spread the butter and eat the pieces one at a time. Always place the bread, roll or crackers on the bread plate.<o:p> </o:p>
SUMMONING A SERVER<o:p> </o:p>
In the United States, the typical way to catch your waiter or waitress’ attention is to catch his or her eyes and then raise your hand with your first finger pointing up. If you waiter or waitress doesn’t catch your signal, you may call “waiter” or “waitress” quietly. If he or she is too far away, ask another waiter or waitress nearby. “Miss” is another correct term for calling a waitress, while “sir” is not permissible for calling a waiter.<o:p> </o:p>
THERE’S A FLY IN MY SOUP<o:p> </o:p>
Try to remove the object without calling attention to it. Don’t create a scene, even if you are truly repulsed. Instead, simply leave the dish untouched as to not embarrass your host or hostess. If you’re at a restaurant, quietly point out the non-edible object to your waiter or waitress and ask for a replacement dish. If the object has reached your mouth, remove it and place it at the edge of your plate. Don’t put it in your napkin, unless you’re using a paper napkin.<o:p> </o:p>
WHEN YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SNEEZE<o:p> </o:p>
Excuse yourself from the table and go to the restroom to blow your nose. Don’t use your napkin. Make sure you wash your hands after you blow your nose.<o:p> </o:p>
FOOD IN YOUR TEETH<o:p> </o:p>
Whatever you do, don’t pick your teeth using your fingers or a toothpick at the table. Use your tongue inconspicuously to remove any food particles and quietly ask a friend to tell you if you have something stuck in your teeth. If the food particle is hurting, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom to remove it. Otherwise, wait until the end of the meal to take care of it.<o:p> </o:p>
SPILL IT<o:p> </o:p>
Pick up solid food and jelly with the blade of your knife or a clean spoon. If you’re at someone’s house and your spill has caused a stain, apologize to your host or hostess while volunteering to clean it up. At an informal dinner, without help, offer to get a cloth or sponge to mop up the liquid and help to clean up in any way you can. <o:p></o:p>
THE SOUP SCOOP<o:p> </o:p>
Scoop the soup in the opposite direction from your lap. Hold the spoon parallel to your mouth. Fill the soup spoon from its far side and then pour gently into the mouth with its neared side. The side of the spoon should enter the mouth, not the oval tip.<o:p> </o:p>
LEMON LESSONS<o:p> </o:p>
When squeezing a lemon for a drink or a course, squeeze the lemon with one hand while using the other hand as an umbrella to protect the juice or seed from squirting into someone. Place squirted lemon either inside your drink or on the side of your plate. Otherwise, put it on the liners or on your bread bowl.<o:p> </o:p>
GO FISH<o:p> </o:p>
If you have a whole fish, anchor it with the fork and cut down the center of a side from head to tail. Using your fish knife, pry the flesh loose at midpoint on this line. Lift the top section and eat from left to right. Remove any skeleton with a knife. If a skeleton particle enters into your mouth, use your fork to remove it from your mouth. The rule is, whatever you use to put something in your mouth, use the same thing to take it out.<o:p> </o:p>
SLURPING SPAGHETTI<o:p> </o:p>
The fork is the only utensil that may be used to eat spaghetti. Plant the fork on the plate and then twirl the spaghetti with the tines of the fork with small amounts of spaghetti.<o:p> </o:p>
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN<o:p> </o:p>
A man will usually pull out the chair for the woman and gently help her (not pushing the chair) into her place. <o:p></o:p>
While many years ago, a woman never spoke directly to the waiter, today it’s perfectly correct for the woman to order for herself.<o:p> </o:p>
Generally, women walk behind the headwaiter or restaurant host who leads the way. The men follow behind the women.
Do’s & Don’ts of Etiquette
DO make polite conversation, but DON’T talk with food in your mouth.<o:p> </o:p>
DON’T wave your silverware around when talking, DO put it on your plate.<o:p> </o:p>
DON’T push your plate back when finished.<o:p> </o:p>
DON’T lean back in your chair and announce, “I’m through” or “I’m stuffed”, DO put your utensils across your plate to signify you are finished. <o:p></o:p>
DON’T cut up your entire meal before you start to eat, DO cut one or two bites at a time.<o:p> </o:p>
DON’T put liquid in your mouth if your mouth is already filled with food.<o:p> </o:p>
DON’T leave half the food on your fork or spoon, DO put less on and then eat it in one bite.<o:p> </o:p>
November 07, 2002
