This week, Pepperdine Probz would like to direct your attention to one of the true mysteries of the Malibu campus: Caf music.
Reflect for a moment. Have you ever entered the Caf and thought, “Wow, this playlist is killer”? Of course not — it’s the Caf, and its music is amazingly and consistently bad.
As a creative exercise, I want to envision the person who could concoct such music monstrosities. In my best estimation, he or she is the kind of person who eats pineapple on pizza without ham. I imagine he or she is the person who buys ultra-large bottles of vitamins at Costco, salad at In-N-Out and unfrosted Pop-Tarts. Or maybe someone just hit shuffle.
As the social hub of main campus, the Caf holds a great responsibility in its music choices. It’s truly amazing how there has been such an unpleasant balance struck between pop, show tunes and oldies. It is a strange fusion of Top-40 music and bewildering throwbacks, but a few songs do stand out as true regulars.
As a chart-topper, Adele often graces the ears of Caf-goers. However, recently, “Hello” plays approximately every 15 minutes, and people instinctively drop what they’re doing to passionately lip-sync and stare into the eyes of their table-mates. Now, I don’t look down upon serenading comrades, but a once-a-day maximum may be healthier than the Caf’s current quota.
One of those “bubblegum pop” songs to which I refer is the charming “Exes and Oh’s” by Elle King. It’s guaranteed to be burned into the back of your skull for at least 24 hours (No-oh-oh).
Another repeat is the Plain White T’s “Hey There Delilah.” Don’t get me wrong, I love 2005. I think 2005 is the best, but I can only throwback to the classic fifth-grade ballads so many times, people.
Wednesdays, for whatever reason, have intense Disney inclinations. While these songs range in film origin, “Frozen” is the obvious favorite. The collective blood pressure of the student body raises a notch every time “Let It Go” plays on those Caf speakers. This week, there was a near uprising of interpretive dance and lip syncing when Idina hit the speakers.
The current state of Caf music is conducive to neither productivity nor happiness. How are students to study or converse with Billboard chart-toppers constantly abusing their ears? Students must accept that they will annoy their friends by humming for the remainder of the day.
Clearly, this is both a physical and a social danger to the student body of Pepperdine.
So perhaps swinging by Payson on the way to the Caf to pick up a pair of complimentary earplugs could save some energy and pain.
Remember to keep tweeting your daily struggles with the hashtag #pepperdineprobz when you encounter the afflictions of Pepperdine life.
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