By Sarah Pye
LONDON–It’s the start of a new semester and once again time to make that all-consuming decision that has weighed heavily on the mind of each International Programs student since the dawn of time, or at least since fall 2002: Which foreign country shall I travel to this weekend?
This decision brings to mind a cartoon I recently encountered in The New Yorker, which depicts a slightly wary-looking couple asking a travel agent, “Can you suggest someplace where the dollar goes far but they don’t want to kill us?” A query to which the agent presumably has little answer.
Being a novice traveler last semester, this sort of worry seldom entered into my personal travel planning equations. Instead, I was known to run off to places like the Czech Republic for the weekend, leaving friends and family comforting e-mails like, “Headed to Prague. Hear they are having anti-American demonstrations this weekend. May be dead by Monday. Love to all!”
So far, these trips have all worked out fine, in the sense that I am not yet technically dead. However, at some point, this may turn out not to be the case, and though I would surely be in no position to care, my mother may be somewhat disappointed.
Therefore, in an effort to ensure a safe and sound semester for myself as well as to provide a useful service to my fellow travelers, I have compiled this list of American-friendly travel destinations in Europe, using the time-tested and highly effective (or, at least, quick) method of flipping my European guidebook open and including whichever exciting destination happens to be on the first page I come to.
So, first on our list:
Portugal. This rich and diverse nation boasts many thrilling sights and popular tourist attractions. Unfortunately, I don’t know what any of these are. However, according to my guide book, in the “Important Dates in Portuguese History” section, we learn that in 415 A.D., the Visigoths invaded the Iberian Peninsula. And, what’s more, in 1578, King Sebastiao was killed on an ill-fated expedition to Morocco. Certainly more than enough reason to plan a trip.
Germany’s Black Forest. This region of Germany, located, doubtlessly somewhere in Germany, boasts such travel destinations as Todtnau, Todtmoos, Gutach and Furtwangen, which are definite must-sees, on the grounds that I have no idea how to pronounce any of them.
Lucerne. By all accounts, Lucerne appears to be little known and highly under-appreciated. For example, in a recent survey (which I have just conducted among my two roommates), it appears that many Americans believe Lucerne to be “a brand of cheese.” This, of course, is incorrect, as Lucerne is actually in Wetumpka County, Alabama, and boasts the world’s largest truck and tractor parts museum. Visit today, before the tourists find out about it.
Hmm, on second thought, maybe I’ll stick to the anti-American demonstrations.
January 16, 2003
