99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer – take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall…
But not at Oktoberfest. Try more like 1000s of mugs of beer, not only lining the walls, but the streets, the tables, and everywhere in between.
Needless to say, for a person who absolutely hates the taste of alcohol (especially beer), Oktoberfest is not really my scene. But hey, as a college student, I figured I couldn’t pass up the chance to go to the biggest party in all of Europe. So, just like millions of other guests from around the world, off I went.
How does one even begin to describe the madness that is Oktoberfest? Well, I’ll try to set the scene for you…
The festival grounds spread out over 75 acres and can accommodate hundreds of thousands of people at one time. And while Oktoberfest does provide music, carnival rides and parades, its main purpose is to celebrate beer for sixteen days straight. Giant colorful tents cover the area, and despite the fact that some tents can seat about 10,000 patrons, they are not only full to the brim inside, but outside as well. And crazier still, is that 99% of the people outside each tent are usually just trying to get back inside for more beer.
Oktoberfest really does have a variety of entertainment. After all, it is considered to be the world’s largest fair. There are plenty of games, made simple enough for most three year olds to win, but alas, the clientele are so drunk that the prizes go un-won. And of course, there are the thrilling carnival rides, perfect to go on right after you finish your 8th liter of beer. (#sarcasm)
And how could I forget to mention the unique food at the event?! There are so many delicious options…there is sausage, sausage, or sausage! But if you need some variety, you can get a pretzel…with sausage!
If you find yourself yearning for more to do at Oktoberfest, you can shop for every tacky tourist trinket imaginable at the hundreds of booths begging for attention! And the best part of your buying spree will be when you realize how awesome the prices are – you can get a magnet, a $2 value, for only $15! (#moresarcasm)
All jokes aside, the clothing truly is a fun filled fashion show in and of itself. All the locals wear authentic German outfits just like you would picture Hansel and Gretel wearing if you happen to run into fairy-tale characters. The boys wear little leather shorts with suspenders called lederhosen and the girls wear dirndl dresses, high socks, and hair intricately braided – totally adorable! And then, there are the tourists, who buy knockoff outfits at the train station and wear them all sorts of wrong. Which is also adorable…in a sad, funny, sort of way.
But the best part of Oktoberfest occurs at the exit, where you find countless
partially passed out drunk people, kneeling over on benches, trying to keep from puking (but usually doing so anyways). And then there are their poor friends that have managed to hold their alcohol until that point, but now are left just staring at their sick friends, trying not to puke themselves (but also usually doing so anyways).
And then there is me. Yep, I just enjoyed being an impartial observer to the entire crazy event, taking down notes for this blog.
Oktoberfest truly was quite the experience – I saw laughter, I saw tears, I saw joy, I saw pain…and after hours of watching the pure madness that is Oktoberfest – the clock struck noon.