Get ready for the hype, Super Bowl XXXIX is coming. The Super Bowl is the biggest sporting event in the United States each year. Nearly everybody has an opinion on it, even if that opinion is “who cares?” People feel very strongly about this game, which is why the Graphic’s staff has decided to dedicate its editorial this week to this grandest of events.
First, a short preview of this year’s festivities: The Philadelphia Eagles are representing the NFC, and the defending champion New England Patriots are representing the AFC. The match is less about the two teams in the game and more about the stars who are dominating the media coverage of the game.
Philadelphia prima donna wideout Terrell Owens has been the biggest story of the week because a severe ankle injury may prevent him from playing in the biggest game of his life. Even the Philly fans had the spotlight on them quite a bit this week because they took over the “Most Tortured Fan Base” title from Boston.
On the New England side, Pats quarterback Tom Brady has been compared favorably in the media to Joe Montana, John Elway, Gandhi, Buddha and Jesus Christ. And a slight feud has developed between the Philly receivers and the vicious, veteran, illegal-hit-giving New England secondary.
The media have eaten this stuff up because they’re like vultures, but that’s not where we’re taking our story today.
No, this editorial is all about the picks. The Graphic is acting like Nostradamus this week, allowing several members of the staff to chime in with their expert input about the game. This is what they have to say:
Melissa Overbeck, Perspectives editor: “I stopped paying attention to the Super Bowl once all the teams I like were out. Between Philly and New England, who cares?”
So far, off to a bad start. Let’s see if one of our other staff members will give us more of a prediction and less of an indictment of the northeastern United States.
Chris Segal, Assistant Perspectives editor had this to say: “I don’t really care who wins. I just want to see a good game and hang out with friends.”
Honestly, can’t one Perspectives writer step up and put their pick on the line? Somebody has to know which team is going to win, right? How about a photographer?
Ben Young, Photo editor: “First off, let me say I’m a fan of streaks, so I was deeply saddened when the Eagles broke their streak of losing in the NFC Championship game the past three years. So here’s to hoping that the Eagles can start a new streak of instead of losing in NFC Champion-ship games, they can start losing in the Super Bowl to teams they should beat on paper. All that to say, go Cowboys!”
That’s more like it, someone who finally has a real opinion and a bona fide bias against one of the teams. That’s what the National Football League is all about. Crazed fans, bitter rivalries and generally delusional and incoherent statements. Let’s keep the crazy train rolling with our editor in chief.
Joann Groff, editor in chief: “Well, anyone who has met me, or my car, knows I am a die-hard fan of the worst team in the NFL. I still haven’t really accepted the 49ers fate as anything less than the best, despite the fact that it’s been 10 years since we’ve won a Super Bowl. In fact, we’re just hoping our new coach Mike Nolan will end our two-season losing-record streak that Erickson created — should have stuck to college ball, Denny.
“Since we’ve been looking forward to our first-round draft pick for the last two months, I feel OK about pulling for the Eagles. There will always be a special place in my heart for Sharpie-toting Terrell Owens, Donovan McNabb is McSweet, and although Brady is hot, he doesn’t need another ring to stack on his fingers.
“Honestly, it’s hard to get into it … we are still hurting. We’re having a party at my house, and frankly, I’m afraid if I get too loud amongst Pats fans, they may just bring up the unfortunate season I suffered through.”
So the count is Philly 2, New England 0. Luckily, the last to say his pick is the only one here with any real stake in the game (in the form of a $20 bet for the Pats to win and cover the current 7.5 point spread.)
Garrett Wait, Sports editor and resident genius: “Patriots 28, Eagles 13.”
And there you have it, the Graphic’s all-inclusive guide to Super Bowl XXXIX. Enjoy!Submitted 2-3-2005