Logo by Haley Laningham
Pepperdine is the land of the tall, the blonde and the athletic. As such, it would appear that a disproportionate number of these people are simply frustratingly good at volleyball.
Not to worry, my friends, Pepperdine Probz feels for your uncoordinated pain. Volleyball is an integral part of Pepperdine culture. People bust out their moves at the beach, on Upper Dorm Road, on Lower Dorm Road, on Alumni, in the gym and essentially anywhere where there is an individual hoping not to embarrass themselves on any given day (sorry comrade, just let it happen).
To the minority of those who did not grace their high school’s varsity volleyball team, the Pepperdine affinity for all things volley is intimidating. There is a familiar carnal fear in the eyes of these students as the ball goes their way.
This fear is warranted. Social volleyball games are a deceptive situation. It’s all fun and games until someone knocks the ball down the hill toward the track or into the ocean to be met with eternal sandiness. What course of action can follow but an apologetic smile followed with assurances that you’ll make the half-mile trek to retrieve the rogue ball?
It’s at times like these that life’s questions come to mind. Why am I not six inches taller? Is that gonna hit me in the face? Should I just forfeit any pride and duck while I have the chance?
These are the struggles of the mere mortals of volleyball on campus for whom the paramount of panic is being invited to play on an intramural volleyball team. Naturally, these fellow students assume you have the baseline level of hand-eye coordination that is expected at Pepperdine — approximately that of an Olympian.
The following exchange is critical. Most avoid commitment at all costs by using a variety of distraction techniques. Options are varied in the execution of this delicate endeavor. Some approaches include offering to be the manager, making puffy paint T-shirts for the team, or holding signs with pithy sayings at every game. The primary goal is avoiding physical contact with the court.
The only cure to this Pepp Prob is that those without an affinity for volleyball must band together in pride. Volleyball does not define you. Play if your heart desires, but if your heart desires never being in the vicinity of a volleyball court ever again, boycott boldly. Your extracurriculars are your own. Volley on, people.
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