With the capricious weather finally moving toward sunshine one thing is certain— spring at Pepperdine has finally arrived. And with the advent of spring academics intensify in anticipation of finals and students begin to make summer plans. Yet the coming of the season also ignites a more romantic force: the proverbial “ring by spring.”
This phenomenon seems to be a self-fulfilling prophecy as every year students begin to see their friends announcing their engagements come the first signs of spring. At a time in which divorce rates are high and the economy is low students are forced to consider practicality when making the decision to take the next step toward the altar. Although the reasons for Pepperdine students to either “wait or engage” vary age itself seems to be a second thought.
“I don’t think age is that important senior Shylah Shostak said. What matters more is your place in life.”
Shostak has experienced an influx of engagements as eight of her close friends have become engaged in the past year. “I think it’s exciting and I’m happy for all of them she said. Every time I found out I was close to tears.”
Although she and her boyfriend of nearly a year are not engaged she feels that they will make a decision about marriage when the time is right. “I feel like people get stuck on a number. I just learned that you shouldn’t be attached to that number; it’s just when the circumstance is right.”
While Stauffer Chapel stands as an iconic symbol of Pepperdine’s beauty and devotion to Christianity it is also the symbol of commitment and a new life for senior Christina Haag and her fiancé Trevor Nerpel.
The couple became engaged last spring when Haag’s boyfriend of one year surprised her in the chapel with eight of her close friends. He secretly flew to Pepperdine from Texas convincing her that he was in a business meeting all day. Her friends who were all in on the plan dressed up and each held a rose while waiting for her in the chapel.
Haag22 and Nerpel25 are getting married this summer in Southlake Texas on July 11. Haag said all her friends and family were beyond supportive and never commented about their age.
She feels they are ready for marriage and that the timing is right for them. Concerning fiscal matters her fiancé is established in a job in Dallas working in the IT department for the oil company EXCO and living on his own. “It’s a solid base for getting married to already be financially stable Haag said.
Other students agree that stability is an important factor in getting engaged. Junior Kasey Crider said that for him, getting engaged in college wouldn’t be ideal.
That part of your life already has so much going on he said. Adding an engagement into the mix doesn’t seem logical. And if I know that I am in love with someone I don’t need a ring to have it be forever so why not take care of business in college and then get your life as stable as possible first.”
The current economic situation might be one of the largest reasons it is or isn’t ideal for students right out of college to get married. “After college life might be more difficult Crider said. But it will certainly be more stable with a job and a steady income and a fixed living location— that is stability.”
Maurice Torres an 18-year-old freshman says that getting engaged in college is a reasonable decision but that being financially stable is also vital.
He has been with his 19-year-old girlfriend who attends Cal Baptist University for 14 months and believes getting engaged soon is a possibility.
“I feel that if you love someone you should be able to get engaged and should not conform to society’s norms or thoughts said Torres. The couple should decide what fits them because it is their decision and they have to reap the outcomes.”
Some couples though don’t see the need to establish a home before tying the knot.
Laura Lundin a 22-year-old senior got engaged this spring and will marry fellow senior John Pauwels this summer. They plan to attend graduate school together hopefully at Texas Tech during their first year of marriage.
The two became good friends during their semester abroad in Heidelberg and began dating the following year. They had been talking about getting engaged for several months and Pauwels proposed just weeks into their last semester at Pepperdine.
It had been raining all week and Pauwels had the ring in his possession nervously waiting for a clear day to arrive. He kept asking her if she wanted to go the beach that week which she found suspicious and often answered with a “no.” When a few hours of clear weather arrived he seized the opportunity and asked her to come to dinner.
Lundin knew something was about to happen because “he was smiling the whole time and [acting] really nervous.” Pauwels took her to the beach behind Ralphs where they had their first date. Although it wasn’t sunny the couple said the break in the weather was calming and made the moment perfect.
Pauwles’s family who live in Lubbock Texas showed support and excitement. However Lundin’s family was somewhat hesitant to give all their blessings.
“When he asked my dad if he could marry me my dad said ‘Well I’m not going to say no'” Lundin said. Nearly everyone in her family had experienced divorce and were more cautious of her making the commitment at a young age.
“I never thought I’d get married young but it’s the right person and the right time Lundin said.
Because of the economy, the couple had to put off some of their original post-graduation plans. They had hoped to take a year off school and go to Africa with service groups, and thought being married would make the trip safer and more meaningful.
Although Lundin and Pauwles come from two different states, the decision to live in Lubbock after their marriage wasn’t a difficult one. Lundin’s parents are moving around for work, and her brother will be in college for several more years, whereas Pauwles has a large family in Lubbock. I’ve never had a big family and I’m really excited Lundin said. Ludin recognizes she is part of the trend among her peers. So many people are getting engaged Lundin said. It’s like up to one a week!”
Trent Diedrich a 22-year-old senior proposed to his girlfriend Kelly Reilly (21) last spring. “We both got negative and positive feedback from our friends Diedrich said. Although their really close friends offered support, otherpeers were less enthusiastic. Other friends were a little in shock; a buddy of mine from home asked me ‘You know this means forever right?'”
They did have the full support of both families and through their long engagement were able to take a Christian Marriage class and pre-marital counseling.
Diedrich believes that the decision to have a long engagement has been very beneficial to their relationship. “People think they know so much about relationships and their significant other but in reality there is so much more to know Diedrich said. I never imagined I would meet anyone like Kelly he continued. I decided to propose to her while still in college because I knew that right after college I was going to marry her; I didn’t want to waste any time.”
Religion Professor Dan Rodriguez makes it a point to ask every Monday if anyone in his class became engaged since the last time they saw each other. “He does it every week sophomore Karley Osborn said. And if you are engaged he blesses you!”
The important thing Haag said is that getting engaged is a personal decision. “It’s all about the right person and the right timing she said.