It has been said that no good deed goes unpunished. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints commonly known as the LDS or Mormon Church has been singled out by opponents of Proposition 8 since its passage on Nov. 4. Some feel that the vitriol ¬(and intimidation and boycotts and envelopes filled with white powder) directed toward the Church is more than deserved. According to the Nov. 13 Graphic article entitled “Prop 8 rally sparked by religious controversies so do some members of the Pepperdine community. The Graphic reported that the LDS Church donated more than $20 million to pass Prop 8. While such a donation would actually be legal, since Prop 8 is not a candidate, party or political issue, no such donation even occurred. What is true is that many individual Mormons, like many other concerned persons on both sides of Prop 8, donated money as well as time to their respective side of this issue. Some Mormons actually donated to the No on 8” campaign and some simply abstained. The Graphic article also unfortunately misrepresents the notion of the separation of church and state. There are many issues that our multitude of churches and their members happen to have beliefs about such as murder stealing and lying. Given the critical importance of families to both our happiness and survival it is not unreasonable that our churches and their members be allowed to have a voice in the discussion. If not the churches then who? The media? The ACLU? Some have complained about the amount of money that was donated to the “Yes on 8” campaign particularly from members of the LDS Church(including some from outside of California). The great irony of course is that in reality the “No on 8” campaign received more out-of-state money and more total money by about $2 million. Mormons regularly donate an enormous amount of time and money to many causes they feel strongly about. Prop 8 just happens to be the only cause receiving any attention.
USA Today recently ran an article ranking the 50 states for both annual charitable donations and community volunteerism. Utah which is approximately 65 percent Mormon was the top state in both categories. While the LDS Church itself did not donate to Prop 8 it has donated billions of dollars in humanitarian aid – both at home and abroad – during the past several years with no publicity sought or received. Most of the volunteerism done by Mormons and everyone else goes unrecognized. Mormons believe that the best way to serve God is to serve others. While some may disagree with Prop 8 Mormons were simply being actively engaged in what they believe to be a good cause. I donated money to Prop 8. I also held a “Yes on 8” sign on a local street corner for a couple of hours one afternoon. (I never realized how many different ways the f-bomb could be hurled at a person.) With Prop 8 now behind us Mormons will move on to other good causes that you will never read about in the papers.
Hopefully no one will protest about Mormons helping to clean up a park repaint tables at a local school or volunteer at the local homeless shelter. Perhaps those who have been protesting the past couple of weeks would get more respect and sympathy from society if they were to join the Mormons this weekend or next in one of their community service projects. So why did I care vote for Prop 8? (It is not because I am Mormon.) Most importantly I believe that every child deserves both a mom and a dad. Of course not every child gets both due to divorce death of a parent or other reasons. Still to me having two moms or two dads is not equivalent to having both a mom and a dad.
As a parent I’ve seen the different and unique qualities and attributes my wife and I bring to our marriage and our parenting. I have also seen this in many other families. If God intended for each child to simply have two genderless parents he would have created us without gender. Alternatively from a strictly evolutionary point of view it seems that evolution has produced two genders which consequently must be critical to the survival of our species. From a legal point of view either marriage is between one man and one woman or else any union of any number of consenting adults should be legal. All arguments that could be used against other alternative forms of marriage (other than LGTB marriage) could also be used against gay marriage. For example one might say that marriage – whether straight or gay-must be between two persons and thus marriage involving more than two persons should not be allowed. However one could simply argue that the idea about exactly two persons forming a marriage is simply a tradition and not ultimately relevant. In fact it seems that the more parents a child has the better.
Any argument for gay marriage but against other forms of alternative marriage is both inherently flawed and indeed more bigoted than arguments for traditional marriage only. Should those who would choose to have two spouses protest with their own signs of “2nd-class citizens” because their “civil rights” have been stripped away? In the United States a man and two women or a woman and two men (or three of the same gender) aren’t even afforded the right to a civil union. That seems more discriminatory than simply not being able to call your civil union with all of its rights and privileges a marriage.
I believe that everyone should be able to do absolutely anything he or she wants – unless that want or supposed right seriously conflicts with what is best for society. For example people can smoke just not while indoors around other persons. Society has always drawn many lines regarding what is good and what is acceptable. Personally I’m not ready to say marriage is between whomever and however many persons anyone desires. Thus to me it is between one man and one woman.
Why did everyone else vote for Prop 8? I believe it was primarily for the children – theirs and everyone else’s. Steve Garvey once said: “The difference between the old ballplayer and the new ballplayer is the jersey. The old ballplayer cared about [his team’s] name on the front. The new ballplayer cares about [his own] name on the back.” In considering various arguments both for and against Prop 8 it seems that those who voted for Prop 8 did so for the children – sort of doing it for the team (society). Those wanting society to accept their gay unions as being equivalent to traditional marriage are more concerned about their own wants – thinking primarily of themselves. So if you are glad Prop 8 passed thank a Mormon for sticking his or her neck (and wallet) out for the cause. If not you can still thank a Mormon for all of the good they do individually and collectively in many other ways. Or at least you can disagree and still respect their right to have an intelligent and sincerely held opinion.
David Strong
Associate Professor of Mathematics Pepperdine University