By James Riswick
Opinions Editor
A great push was made for democracy and freedom-loving people everywhere last Tuesday as the population of Iraq cast their votes in that country’s presidential election. An astounding 97.3 percent of the 11.4 million voting-eligible Iraqis flocked to the polls from every corner of the controversial Middle Eastern nation.
Yet what is more amazing was the result. Exactly 100 percent of the popular vote went to incumbent candidate Saddam Hussein, a man adored by his people for his fun-loving propaganda parades and weekly execution escapades. In fact, so loved was the candidate, who is affectionately known as simply Saddam, that no one wanted to run against him. There has been some talk, mostly in the United States that ballot boxes were stuffed or that voters were threatened with beating and death if they somehow managed to not vote for Saddam. But please, as if the Iraqi government would really let that happen.
It seems to me that Iraq has a much easier way of government. It’s a shame that in this country we cannot all think the same way, as apparently all Iraqis do. Iraq’s electorate process is an incredibly efficient one, and quite frankly, the United States could probably learn a thing or two from this superb “one candidate, one choice” system.
Just think about it for a moment. The 2000 American election nearly ripped this country apart. Essentially, half the nation voted for Al Gore and the other for George W. Bush. Let’s not forget that pesky electoral college messing with the people’s actual votes. Just think how easy it would be if, as a nation, we decided who should be president before the election. Or even better, the candidate decided for us.
Makes sense to me. Especially when American voter turn out is growing more embarrassingly poorer every year — only 47.9 percent of Americans showed up in 2000. If Iraq can manage a 97.3 percent turnout, then they must be onto something. Maybe the American ballot is just too complicated, with so many candidates and propositions, for our increasingly lazy culture and shrinking attention spans. Perhaps narrowing the ballot down to one easily recognizable name would improve the turn out at voting stations.
“Do you agree with Saddam Hussein’s continued rule?” was the only question posed to voters on the ballot. Even with 46 percent of adult Iraqis being illiterate, there were evidently no problems with the ballot or its wording. It’s astonishing, then, that Florida has so many problems with its elections. It has a substantially higher literacy rate than Iraq, yet that doesn’t seem to counter-balance all those chads and faulty voting computers after the recent democratic gubernatorial primary. Clearly Floridians should implement Iraq’s means of suffrage. With only one question, one candidate, Americans never would have been forced to deal with Al Gore’s whining or Katherine Harris’ make-up.
Also, compared to the month it took Florida to count votes after the 2000 election, Iraq was lightning quick. Iraqi officials were able to count the more than 11 million votes in a mere 12 hours, even with the fact that telecommunications are a rarity in villages spread across the largely rural Iraq. That’s just a well-oiled machine they have there. And I really don’t think we want to go to war with that.
Immediately following the election, Iraqi citizens took to the streets celebrating their leader’s unanimous victory. At a time when its sovereignty is being threatened by an American invasion, the Iraqi government particularly welcomes such national solidarity.
“They have chosen light over darkness, civility over savagery,” said Izzat Ibrahim, vice chairman of Saddam’s Revolutionary Command Council. “They have also chosen victory over submission. We have put on record our legitimate right to be free.”
And so they did. With almost 100 percent of the population supporting the same candidate, Iraqis are free from the horrible oppression caused by conflicting viewpoints, debate and the choice of candidates. If America ever wants to emerge from such darkness, we obviously must follow in the same path as the fine nation of Iraq. Only then, will we let true freedom reign.
Yah right. Holding an “election” to show the world that the Iraqi people support their government is just ridiculous. Of course Iraqis are going to vote for Saddam. I would too if I had a big box of anthrax preparing to be dump into my shack if I didn’t vote for the dictator. Nice try Iraq, but next time save the time and energy in coming up with a fake election and just skip right to the fake results. At the very least, the lack of ballots would save a few trees.
October 24, 2002