Another year another president another lost season for my beloved basketball team. While you were booty-calling your ex’s over break I followed for the most part our men’s basketball team otherwise known to the nation as an automatic win.
To most on campus basketball season starts with an exhibition game (lost to NAIA powerhouse Master’s College). Then it gets suddenly remembered just in time for the LMU beat down/rivalry game at home even though the Kittens are by far the worst team in college basketball.
On top of just an all-around pile of blah that is the school 20 miles down PCH brand-spanking-new head coach Bill Bayno was gone – three games into the season.
Did I miss the part where Al Davis bought a controlling stake in this university?
(Side note: In one of my previous columns last semester I foreshadowed this “leave of absence” after my ever-perked ears overheard the now former Kittens coach Bill Bayno give the brutally honest “We have no shot no shot whatsoever” to another coach at our conference’s media day. From what has been reported Bayno just took the losing and game preparation too seriously and it ultimately cost him his health. As much as I love a good LMU-bashing I wish him and the players the best during this rough patch after we beat them again in Hank’s House.)
Then comes the inevitable break-up with a team the student body has loved so dearly. Like a sudden realization that Brett Michaels may not be in it for that “rock of love” after three amazing go-around’s Gonzaga descends on Malibu to bring us back down to earth.
The Waves have lost by a combined 120 points in the past two seasons against the Zags (that’s 30 a game for those of you keeping score at home) which is nearly identical to the 29 per game beaten into us by Saint Mary’s.
What were once perennial primetime TV matchups are now only shown in order to compensate for the WCC’s television contract.
The Gonzaga game has gotten so out-of-hand lately that it has become a straight yelling match at the hated mustached and mushroomed players. My case in point The New York Times sports reporter Jere Longman said this about our student section antics in 2006 regarding Adam Morrison:
“In Malibu a group of students at Pepperdine debated jokingly whether Morrison’s mustache left him looking more like a porn star or a pedophile. ‘Amber Alert’ some students yelled as the Gonzaga players arrived in their team bus.”
Guilty.
Since I don’t want this weekly column to be wasted on another “You can see the hope in-between the loses and utter despair let’s keep this week’s words on the positive side.
I’ll spare you this season’s horrendous shooting percentages (39 to our opponents’ 46 percent), scoring differentials (losing by an average of 13.4 per night in and night out) and assist-to-turnover ratio (smaller than TV Nielson rating of Bromance) and go straight for the all out go with my gut” analysis. So here is what you missed.
USC: This was actually a very entertaining game. Freshman guard Keion Bell was recruited by Southern California head coach Tim Floyd and boy did he let the Trojan faithful know what they were missing. Highlight reel dunks and a barrage of three-pointers from Bell freshman guard Dane Suttle and sophomore standout Mychel Thompson made things interesting late after being down by as many as 30 in the first half. Oh and I almost got assaulted by a bum walking to my car.
Send your kids to USC!
CSUN: A complete disaster. I decided it would be fun to sit with a few of my friends who go to Northridge and all I got was multiple high-fives from their mascot after countless Willie Gallick dunks. And yes if you remember Willie did awkwardly play here for two seasons before transferring after Vance Walberg told him to suck his thumb during practice.
Send your kids to Pepperdine!
Speaking of former players that have transferred from Pepperdine they are doing quite nicely if you are wondering.
Mike Gerrity bounced around before enrolling at USC this semester where he will likely take over for standout point guard Daniel Hackett at season’s end.
Blake Wallace found some early success this season at conference foe University of San Francisco which started off with a surprising 5-1 record. This was before it realized it was USF and proceeded to lose seven of its last eight.
Russell Hicks is a projected second round draft pick according to NBADraft.net. And Tomas Pranciliauskas is an NAIA All-American at Shorter College in Georgia.
Georgia Tech– Myself along with Josh “Afroman” Little sat amongst hundreds of Tech fans on our side of the Fieldhouse as the only students attending. I’m running out of interesting words for “loss so I will give you the score, 86-58, and you can come up with your own adjective or adverbial phrase.
Hawaii Tournament– This is when I completely gave up on the team. I figured I would try some new things after the break-up, such as archery or romantic comedies. Except I turned to my other teams: the Broncos and Clippers. It was a depressing winter break nonetheless.
The spread against the Zags today will hover near 30 (what a surprise). To make things interesting tonight against Gonzaga, my buddies and I have decided moral victories were enough. Look, this is a young team in a good conference. Don’t expect miracles when the team has only won 27 percent of its games the last four years. Cover the spread and captivate my heart.
Win, and you may see this mug shot somewhere else after serious celebration.